rkymtnmusings
semi-daily journal of my thoughts and feelings(hopefully) On my life living in the Rocky Mountains... . The current mood of rockiemtnman@yahoo.com at www.imood.com


11/22/2009  

...Just a few days before Thanksgiving day and a few after my birthday, both days appropriate for reflecting on the past, which is hard to do without peering into the future-both of which I do with heavy heart...It seems as though I (and, consequently, my immediate family is drug along with me) have been in this tunnel for a very, very long time, with not a hint of light at the end of it...legs and arms weary from this incessant dog-paddling and no point of land on the horizon that might bring some sort of help. I am almost to the point of, in spite of fears borne from being raised in the ocean and having the utmost respect for it-nearly losing my life several times in riptides, saved, no doubt from training I received in Junior Lifeguard, that sharks will come and put me out of my misery...It seems there is no training to get through this literal minefield-of-a-life. Even my attempts to shield my family from my poverty of hope by avoidance, literally hiding under the covers-attempts to sleep broken only by a shower and a meal here and there, has the unintended effect of heaping more pain on them-they actually, occasionally, enjoy my company !!! God I'm looking for your guidance...I am humbled and willing to do anything you ask-work as many hours as it takes in any capacity...you know I have cast my pride aside...I just want to make life better for my family, instead of wondering each month what is going to be taken away next...and all I have to do is look at the calendar and see that the hardest part of winter is still to come...

posted by David | 11/22/2009 06:35:00 AM
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