4/25/2004
I ...dealing with some ghosts and fears and fears of ghosts...and those of you that get it...have been there...or are there know and those of you that don't get it have probably just forgotten... I haven't, though. My father dying suddenly in the hospital...recovering from...pneumonia...i think, which, in the 1950's, was not a little deal, and then to be out getting doctor-ordered fresh air, to be stung by a bee and die from the reaction because his immune system was depleted...and i, being only 3, and my last memory of him was standing outside his second-story hospital window (in those days kids were considered "germ carriers", and not allowed on most floors of hospitals under most curcumstances, unless they were being treated) waving to him, and him waving back... And so my consideration of potentally risky operations on my spine, the injections in my disks having failed and my health, stamina, and ability to mask the pain with vicodin becoming more and more of a problem...does not rest light on my mind...I think about Stevie P. He is paralyzed from the 6th vertebrae down, the location of the worse of the two damaged discs. Stevie was hurt in a downhill biking accident. Evan and I visited him in rehab. in Denver, one of the best hospitals in the world for treatment and rehab of spinal cord injury. The visit greatly affected me...the sheer number of people there with such varying injuries and in various stages of recovery...I wondered what sort of patient I would be..my attitude...my greatest love...my guitar...not being able to play...even that would be overshadowed by not being able to hug my family...feel my kids' arms around me...giving my wife the backrubs she loves so much... ...and...oh yeah...I am such a chickens * * t !!!
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posted by David |
4/25/2004 09:30:00 AM
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